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  • It’s Not A Man’s Fault If He Checks Out A Woman . . . His Brain Does It Before He Can Tell It Not To

    This is VERY big news for men . . . and you should probably have this defense ready to go for the rest of your life.  When you’re with your girlfriend or wife, a woman walks by, and you look her up and down like a raging pervert . . . IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

    –According to a book called “The Male Brain” by a neuropsychiatrist named Louann Brizendine, men CAN’T HELP IT when they check out women.  The area of a man’s brain that controls sexual pursuit is 250% larger than a woman’s . . . and it’s FAST, too.

    –When a woman walks by, within a fifth of a second you’re checking her out and sizing up whether she’s hot or not . . . and that’s faster than your conscious mind can tell you “Don’t check her out or you’re going to get yelled at for an hour.”

    (Toronto Star)

    The Battle For The Best New Food At The Texas State Fair Includes Fried Beer, Fried Chocolate, And Fried Salad

    These days, every state fair features fried food that absolutely boggles the mind.  Still . . . when I want to find the TRUE innovators of deep frying, I look to Texas.

    –The State Fair of Texas has announced the finalists for its annual Big Tex Choice Awards . . . which are given to the best tasting and most creative new foods from the fair each year.  This year, all eight finalists are deep fried.  Here they are . . .

    –Deep fried S’mores Pop Tart. A S’mores Pop Tart covered in batter and fried.

    –Deep fried frozen margarita. Funnel cake batter is mixed with a margarita, then deep fried and covered with a lemon/lime mixture.  Served in a salt-rimmed glass.

    –Fried club salad. A 12-inch spinach wrap with ham, chicken, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, cheddar and bacon inside is deep fried.  Then it’s topped with fried sourdough croutons on a stick and served with dressing.

    –Fried beer. A beer-filled pretzel pouch is deep fried.

    –Fried chocolate. A white chocolate candy bar and cherry are stuffed in a brownie, dipped in chocolate cake batter and deep fried.

    –Texas fried caviar. It’s not real caviar.  Black-eyed peas are deep fried and laced with special spices.

    –Texas fried Frito pie. Chili and cheddar are encased in a giant corn chip.  Then it’s battered and fried.

    –Fried lemonade. A pastry is made with Country Time lemonade, then fried.

    –The winners of the award will be announced Labor Day weekend.

    (Pegasus News)

    While The Cops Take A Man’s Report On His Stolen Car, The Car Thief Drives By In The Car, Blasting Music

    On Monday morning, Sergio Vial of Allentown, Pennsylvania, called the police after he went outside to get in his car, and discovered it was missing. He told them he hadn’t seen it since he parked it Saturday night.

    –The cops went to his place to take his report. And as they stood outside, getting the details from Sergio . . . they spotted his car.

    –The thief happened to be driving the car down that street at that moment, with the windows down, BLASTING MUSIC.

    –The police stopped him. He turned out to be 39-year-old Preston Renninger, and he told them his friend had lent him the car.

    –Sergio came over, told the police that he’d never seen Preston before in his life . . . and the cops made the arrest.

    –Preston was charged with receiving stolen property, unauthorized use of an automobile, and driving with a suspended license.

    Guys Are More Likely To Pick-Up Hitchhikers If They Have Large Breasts

    In this day and age, we’re pretty wary of hitchhikers.  As far as society is concerned, the only reason to hitchhike is if you’re an ax murderer on the run.  So no one picks them up.  But like a lot of things, if you’ve got a SWEET RACK, it’s a different story.

    –According to a study out of France, men are more likely to give a hitchhiker a ride if she’s a LARGE-BREASTED WOMAN.

    –For the study, they had an average-looking woman hitchhike on the side of the road.  And at different points, she’d put latex enhancements in her bra to change her cup size.

    –When a woman would drive past, the hitchhiker’s breast size didn’t make any statistically significant difference on whether or not the driver would stop.

    –But when a man would drive past, the breast size made ALL the difference.  15% of men stopped to pick up an A-cup . . . 18% of men stopped to pick up a B-cup . . . and 24% of men . . . or almost one out of four . . . stopped to pick up a C-cup.

    (Psychology Today)

    (–I know what you’re thinking, but the answer is no:  For some reason, the researchers didn’t repeat the test using men with different BULGE SIZES.  It’s a real disappointment to me, and to the entire scientific community.)

    A Witch Is Selling Her Spell For A Perfect Butt On eBay . . . For Only $9

    Unbelievable!

    I’m not going to lie . . . this sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  A real WITCH . . . an honest-to-God, actual witch . . . is selling one of her most powerful SPELLS on eBay.

    –If you buy it, and use it right, it will transform your body . . . and give you PERFECT BUTTOCKS.  (–Which should cushion you nicely when the locals decide to burn you at the stake.)

    –All that can be yours for just $8.95.  There are even anonymous testimonials from satisfied clients.

    –The witch, whose name is Amelia, says she’s been casting spells for 20 years.  And while she’ll sell you the spell, you may have to provide your own candles, herbs, oils and gemstones.

    (Jezebel)

    (–Here’s the link to the eBay auction . . .)

    http://cgi.ebay.com/BOOTY-ENHANCEMENT-Spell-Cast-Powerful-Wiccan-Witch-/220496575102#ht_6665wt_1139